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Cast me gently into morning

February 17, 2010

I haven’t written a blog post in a while because I haven’t had many positive thoughts to share.  And let’s face it, no one likes to read a blog post and finish thinking, “Man, that was a downer.  I need to go eat some chocolate now…”

Why no positive thoughts, you say?  Let me count the ways:

1.  Sub-freezing temperatures every day for as long as I can remember.

2. The sun has not shown (shone? ha!) its face in even longer, it seems.  A few minutes here and there don’t count, in my vitamin E-deprived opinion.

3. I had a cold last week.  Nothing huge, but colds sure do put a damper on life.

4. My dear friend Leah is gone.  And I still have not fully grasped that reality.

There are times in my life when God whispers little promises in my ear.  He does it so subtly, so naturally, that I realize the message days later, but I am unable to pinpoint exactly when He spoke it.  I think I like that–it’s as if He and I are simply sharing certain thoughts.  So the most recent whisper is this:

This season is ending soon.  A new one is coming.

I can be a little dense sometimes, so my initial response was, “Duh.  Of course winter is ending soon.  Spring will come after that.”  I did not realize the full meaning–the meant-just-for-Allison meaning–until I was listening to a Sarah McLachlan song yesterday.  One line stood out like a resonating bell:

Cast me gently into morning, for the night has been unkind.

That’s exactly what I need–for God to cast me gently out of this dark, sad season and into a new, hopeful one.

The line after it was almost as poignant:

Take me to a place so holy, that I can wash this from my mind.

Of course, I don’t want to wash the past couple of months from my mind.  I want God to wash them for me–to redeem them in the larger picture of His good and loving plan–and put them in their proper place.  I want to remember the pain of losing someone too soon, because it reminds me that this is not the world I am meant for.

I went to Wal-Mart the other day and walked through the garden section, smelling the warmth of potting soil and tender plants.  There’s nothing like it.  I bought a hanging basket planter for one of my indoor plants for its tangible reminder that spring is coming soon.  I think I have looked forward to this spring more than any other.

Cast me gently into morning, or perhaps, Cast me gently into mourning…

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2 comments

  1. i pray that God cracks you into spring like a homerun.

    i love you allison. you and your honest and real heart.

    xo.


  2. Thanks, Dani. Spring couldn’t come soon enough–It’s simply been one bit of sad news after another.

    I love you, and I think of you every time I watch the Olympics.



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